Sitting with my feelings

A friend of mine passed away recently. I have been thinking about how often I used to run away from feelings. Now I try to sit with them.

I have had my share of anxiety. I know how much noise my own mind can make. I can be having a conversation with someone while another conversation is going on inside me.

The phrase I use is metabolising my own emotion. Giving it some time. Feeling it. Seeing what is there before it turns into the way I speak to another person.

When I have not spent enough time with what I am feeling, I can end up uploading it onto someone else. They get the reaction without knowing what has been happening inside me.

This is something I am trying to take responsibility for. I can talk about a feeling and ask for support. I can also give myself a little room before I act on it.

I want to become more self-sufficient in how I relate to my own mind. There is still plenty to learn.