Integrity and speaking up

Integrity, to me, is when my thoughts, words and deeds are aligned. That means telling the truth, especially when it is difficult.

Christopher Hitchens wrote: “Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity.” That captures something I feel strongly. If I see something wrong and stay quiet, it bothers me afterwards. The instinct to speak up feels like part of who I am.

I once had a friend who was an investor. I never liked the way he operated, and I never raised it. That was my fault.

I think about Nietzsche's three metamorphoses: the camel, the lion and the child. The camel carries the burdens it accepts. The lion confronts the dragon of inherited commands, the “Thou shalt”, and wins freedom to create. The child represents a new beginning and the creation of values.

My way of picturing this is a harness. Society gives us one, and we can grow into it without examining it. Then we begin questioning what we have inherited and choosing what we want to live by.

Once I have examined what I believe and decided what matters to me, I want to live by it. That includes being clear about the behaviour I will accept from the people around me.

A note to myself: speak up, protect my values and stop spending energy on relationships that keep violating them.